Daily Star Sunday - TV Review
BYLINE
Watch out for Chris with all the latest entertainment gossip on ITV1’s This Morning throughout the summer.
SWITCH ON
What’s the problem? With Anne Robinson. I know it’s getting blasted by the critics but I like it – most people have judged this programme before they have even seen it, give it a go, with great humour and fantastic guests it makes compulsive viewing. (Friday, BBC1, 9pm).
SWITCH OVER
Fat Families (Tuesday, ITV1), what is the point of this programme? A better way to watch fat people trying to lose wait is to watch Fat Fighters (Little Britain, BBC3).
TV TURN ON
Yes I know I was presenting it, so I’m probably biased, but how good was CD:UK (ITV1) yesterday!
Christine Stephen Daly, she was fantastic in Casualty, playing Lara Stone and she’s brilliant in Cutting It as the stunning Melissa (Tuesday, BBC1).
TV TURN OVER
Airport, (Thursday, BBC1), who wants to watch a flight being disrupted by fog? And what is this show doing on the 8pm prime time slot – surely 2am would be better?
You’ve Been Framed (Saturday ITV1), it’s not funny anymore – it’s just a bunch of people mocking up stunts to claim their £250. Cheap telly.
ROMANTIC OF THE WEEK
“I’ll flip your eggs.” Danny to Sam in EastEnders
LEAD
Well there’s never a dull moment in Bad Girls (ITV1, Tuesday) is there? This week saw a new addition to the inmates – Pat Kerrigan (Liz May Brice). Possibly the best looking lass ever to set foot inside a prison and probably the only lass in a prison who looks like she just stepped out of Vidal Sassoon. In she came with more balls than Anne Robinson blasting “watch my hair” to the wardens. She then nicked the top dogs chips, lobbed them against the wall, smashed a cabinet of knives and then proceeded to grab the poor old resident nun, make her strip and then kick her in the stomach. What a lovely piece of work she is!
But hold on one minute, because she did have a fairly good excuse to do all this to the ‘innocent’ nun – turns out, with the help of some Irish bloke, had abused her and her mate Lucy as a kid, which caused her mate to hang herself.
The tables turn and we suddenly feel sorry for Ms Kerrigan, as does the governor who says “I’m going to make sure she’s well looked after in here” – well I’m not being funny mate but think she’s had enough looking after if you know what I mean? … Anyway next week she causes more friction and shows the inmates who the new ‘top dog’ is – gripping stuff.
Apart from Kerrigan we got to watch that bird off Corrie get drunk, wrinkly old Malcolm bleed poor old Sylvia dry and Sylvia’s son sleep with her boss – who’s a man. No surprises there then, the producers of this programme can’t make an episode without at least one gay scene can they?
Or on the other hand there’s not many scenes that aren’t gay over in Footballers Wives made by the same guys. But before I get accused of slating the producers (because I like to think they might offer me a job one day) they do make gripping drama – it may not be the most believable drama and it certainly isn’t the most Politically correct drama on the box but whether or not they admit, people do love watching it. Quite simply they know what the audience want to see and they deliver it.
SUBONE
Don’t miss The Bill (ITV1, Wednesday and Thursday) next week. This drama just gets better and better so I thought I’d give you a little peek at the week ahead... Get set for robberies, brotherly brawls, bullying, suspended coppers, arguments and strike action.
Yep, it’s set to be a busy week in The Bill…
June Akland stands up for her team when two of her colleagues are disciplined for using their weapons, and for those of you with dirty minds I’m referring to their CS Gas and Asps!
Then there’s poor old Gary, his heart’s in the right place but nothing ever seems to go right for him. Next week he manages to cause a big row between DC Jo Masters and DI Sam Nixon, wrongly accuse DC Suzie Sim of shagging around to further her career and then brand her a bully! I must admit I got a bit of de-ja-vu watching Ciaren Griffiths’ splendid performance of Gary – his character reminds me of my gullible mate Spencer Moon from EastEnders – anyone agree?
The Bill really is stronger than ever at the moment, producing 2 hours of hard hitting, captivating drama that makes the balance between story content and thrilling action perfect. It just looks much more polished and natural than a soap – even though they’re producing the same amount of telly as the soaps do. The directing is fab, the writing is inspiring and well researched and the performances from Trudy Goodwin, Ciaren Griffiths, Lisa Maxwell and Kim Tiddy are superb - it is obvious that this programme is not made in a rush – they do it well and they do it right! I’m hooked…
SUB TWO
Pimp my Ride UK (MTV, Sunday, 10pm), I loved the American series and the UK version is even better. This week Bethan reveals her “dream wedding car”, nope, not a Rolls Royce, not a limo, not a Mercedes, not a Jaguar but a 44 year old Morris Minor with no heating, no radio, two rotten doors, paint falling off and two flat tyres! Thank god MTV found her, because if that’s the way she intends to start her life of marriage god knows how far she would have got. Not as far as the church that’s for sure!
SUB THREE
How bad is Ladette to Lady (Thursday, ITV1), this week the principal declared “All you do is just don’t open your mouths yet” – how about don’t open them… Ever! This really is one of the most boring programmes I have ever seen, I’d rather watch chimps being trained to be ladies, it’d be much easier than training this bunch of losers - and chimps are better at tea parties anyway.
SUB FOUR
Proof this week that EastEnders is back on top form, Fridays episode was fantastic with the whole Zoe/Sam/Chrissie drama coming to a climax and just when you though it couldn’t get any better, Sharon and Dennis are back with a very valid question “Where’s Den?”, well, he’s, ‘er….. right under your feet guys!
Sad news that Michelle Ryan’s off though – after four years of cracking storylines I know that Zoe Slater played by the lovely Michelle Ryan will be dearly missed – best of luck to what I’m sure is going to be a very exciting career for Michelle… Watch this space.
NIB ONE
Over at Emmerdale this week Louise is begging Matthew for a bit of nookie, “Surely you can stay for ten minutes?” Is that all it takes luv? Oh well at least it’s six minutes longer than Paul Danan who is said to have romped with the sexy Nikki from Celebrity Love Island (ITV1) for…. oooh… 4 minutes!
NIB TWO
If you’ve got Sky it’s well worth taking a look at the Living TV channel, they’ve got some cracking programmes, including Most Haunted Live, Extreme Makeover and The ‘L’ word.
NIB THREE
If you’re a U2 fan, keep this a secret, but my spies have informed me that the lovely Cat Deeley has bagged herself an all access pass for the Manchester U2 gig. She’ll be interviewing Bono and the boys as well as showing us what really goes on back stage for a one off special documentary. You can watch U2 Uncovered on ITV1 on the 28th June at 1130pm.